so much to think about...

Have you ever had one of those slap in the face moments? Like you have been wondering about things but didn't realize you were until the answer came to you? I had one of those moments recently. I was listening to a speaker in CBL (an organization that I am in at A&M) and He was telling his testimony of how he had graduated with a finance degree from A&M and was making really good money when he felt called to leave his nice "successful" job and go run a kids camp in the area. Of course being obedient, he obeyed God and was completely happy with the road God was leading him on. He made the statement that has had me thinking for a while now....he said "I only have roughly 60 years left on this earth, how will I spend that time?" "Will I make a difference?" He made the choice to leave that "successful" job in society's eyes to do something that may or may not be something that others would deem as worthy, or glamourous,but he was obeying God and through that obedience he was fulfilled with joy and overflowed with happiness. I have been thinking about that very question. "What will I do for the next 60 years?" I want to know what God wants me to do.....how will I spend it? What will I be doing? Will I be trying to please myself, husband, kids, society, family, (in all the wrong ways) or will I be focusing on God and what He has in store for me and for others through me? Through that focus I will be able to balance my relationship with my husband and family and still do what God has called me to do. I want to make a difference no matter if it is cleaning toilets for the rest of my life or being a stay at home mom, or managing Todd's practice. How will I allow myself to be used by God? Will I obey Him and do what He asks of me? I want to please God in ALL areas of my life. I want Him to take this empty vessell and fill it up an then pour it out like water. I pray that God cleans me, molds me, shapes me, and uses me for His glory and His glory only. Oh how I have dreams of having like 7 or so kids through natural and adoption processes. How I dream of bringing foster kids into a loving home and being able to love them and let them sleep in a safe place. How I dream of letting God pour His love into me just so I can pour it out on others. God use me! Take Me! This is my dream. I want to help the homeless and of course have every stray animal at my house. I want to be the one to tuck that precious baby in bed and let them know that they are okay in their new families arms. I want to visit the old people in the nursing home that get no visitors. I want to love. Do you hear me?..... I want to love. I want to love. I want to love. I want to love.

This is how I want to spend the next 60 years of my life.

Career? who cares...loving people in the name of Jesus is all I want to do. I long for the opportunities. Society tells you have to have money, or do things in a certain order and I am hear to say that it is all crap. God's plan isn't society's plan for you. Seek God. Seek Him first, and seek Him alone. He will be faithful to hear your cries and to answer them also. Don't be afraid of His answers they will bring you joy unspeakable. I know that Joy, I know Jesus, and I am coming to know His plan for my life.